Thursday, November 29, 2012

down..too deep

hi here and there!

i called mymum just now and she was so excited telling me about sending my sister and younger brother to KUIS and i just like..what? the environment there is soooo like an university and they both are so fortunate to get in there. imma so jealous right now. ughhh~

my tears just want to go out once my younger sister talking about her going to finish her hafazan of 30 juzu' insha'allah by this end of the year. i envy you lah angah!

and she want to pursuing her studies abroad and i like seriously you want to leave me here?  im still in Malaysia furthering my study but you will simply get a place to further yr study in overseas? ouch..that's hurt. why lah you got so many advantages compare to me angah?

as a big sister..yes i'm jealous with you. for me, you're such a good child for papa and ummi while me is a chaos.

I failed to make my parents proud of me during my spm..during my matric and i just failed to get a course that they wanted me to be. am i a loser? hopefully i'm not but i cant lie myself that i'm not a good childs for my parents. or maybe yes i'm just a loser.
how worse it could be?

i just realised that my adik adik have grown up so damn fast! i'm scared. hell yeah..why?

because it's such an indicator to me that i'm getting parents too..time that i've got is almost reach to the end. am i well-prepared to the hereafter? frankly speakin' im not. damn scary meh.

nothing to share,xoxo