I may be selfish and full of me almost of the time. Or its always about me... Im sorry. Im trying to be the best for you. And i know im good at nothing. Im sorry.
Friday, June 20, 2014
I was sitting do nothing. Lapar.
So, tgh duk belek belek tu. I was thinking. Apa kata kalau try do some maths.
I do some rough calculation on my expenses. Based on resits that i collect it costs me almost 1.7k. Wow.. U're so good in spending ayuni.
Not included expenses that i cant recall. Aduhaii. Someone really need to shoot me now. What im gonna say to my parents.
Dahlah.. I was stupid enuf to say yes to some random bij who sell insurance. And one fren yg gila haram tak paham bahasa. I say no,but he still dftar me as ahli of his product. I was like.. Im not gonna pay you. Tapi he was like,sokay yuni. U can have plenty of time to pay it slowly. Jadahnya. Padahal,i just bought a pills of cuci perut for my kakngah and my babyboo je. I asked for hrga murah,as fren. Suruh dia guna his status as ahli to get lower price but dia yg xreti bahasa tu claimed that, u can get hrga ahli if u registered as one of our members. He said its only 7ringgits. So i was okay la for the first time. But then,i texted me and correct his statement. The price that i have to pay to be of of them is 77ringgits. Oh no. F no. Dengan duit aku makin susut bak air. Mmg taklah.. But he still forced me to. Aku nih dhlah pantang org paksa paksa nih. Sbb nak diamkan dia. I said yes. Stupid me stupid yuni. Erghh. Whylah.. Why. Dah bnyak kali kene pun ayuni. Haihhh. Mmg suke eh habiskan duit for something that useless?
Okay then some of you may used the money to buy gadjets. Im not into gadjets stuffs. I love makeups,skincare products,bags and clothes. And i do admit that i leburkan my money on that stuffs. And i dont regret since it satisfied me. It may not last long.. But. Dah suka. Apa lu org boleh cakap. Thanks to you who always asked me to do some savings and transfer the moneys into other bank. It really helps. I shud asked you to hold my card and only gimme cash when i need it. Dont let me hold the card bcos me, myself dont even know how many damages cud i do on my purse. Huu huuu..
So, total of my expenses is almost 3.3k. And i failed to list all the items that i bought.
Most of it goes for foods and beverages. Since,i am the one who loves to eat and i dont care how much it gonna cost me as long as it is yummy and i cravin for it. And it is siyesly not a good habit. Jangan ikut okay? Ini amaran keras.
Since he is finished his degree,i have to survive my senior years (2yrs to go) alone. Lepasni dah takde org wud bebel on my expenses. Layan all my dramas. Give tonnes of advices. Be my bodyguard. Hurmm. Sapa je nak teman aku p makan. Nak cakap borak pndg mata sape je bila ada masalah. I loves to see his eyes. Redup. He really needs to skype me almost evriday. Evridayyyy!!!
If im mad on him. My rajuk wont last for such a long time. Sebab, time its to precious utk merajuk lelama. Mmgla bila marah,kemain pk yg bukan bukan. Nasibla jenis cepat sejuk. So.. I will back to normal soon. Haha. Cume kalau bebetul sentap tu,mmg padu sikek keras hati dia.
Back to my money probs. I really need to do something here to topup my money. Sinc im going to drive next sem,it will gonna cost me alot brotha. Dahla gua takut nak drive. Aaaaaaa apa nihh penakut nihh. Muka je ganas. Blerghh. Bawa kete xreti. Swimming tak reti. Apa je reti?
Total fail lah aku nih hah. Hurmm hurmm. Ummi,i need a driver. May i?
Nak kene really push my butt and earn some moneys. Hiu hiuu. Hopefully he can solved the probs of F insurans sunlifemalaysia tuh. Hurmm hurmm.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
I'll talkin abt this comparing stuffs which i do it almost all time i guess. Huhu. It's a random ideas,i was in the shower,having my late bath. Then,suddenly my mind were creating a situation where theres a girl are hitting on me because she is jealous of me. Haha,so poyo lah sampai i can imagined that way. Hehe..
Okay, the point is. Why did we compared? Why people nowadays always comparing themselves. For real lah... All the garments, branded outfits. Why do you wear them? You nak impress sapa? I totally dont get it. For me,as long as the outfits are nice the quality is good,the price is reasonable,i'll take it... Go die the brands. No one will akceli go bumped into you and say this "are those are chanel? Are you wearing dolce gabbana for real?
No one dude till you met a pshycotic person. Haha.
Im not working in fashion industries . I dont know how a cashmere shud be like. What is the different with 100% cotton or spandex. Blerghh. Like,who wud even care abt that. As long as it fit me,i'll fine.
Its not only abt the garments. It doesnt stop there.
People were comparing almost evrithing. Skin conditions,the body,the skintone,the wealths,the cuisines and all.
Examples, when you see a girl with a flawless skin. U wud say. Ohmai,what a beautiful skin she had. And i wished to be just like her. Funny,but i do the exactly same thing. Watching models walking thru the runways. Fuhh, make me wished that i cud have the height.
By comparing,we will only seeking and looking a good sides about the others and listings out our lackness. And this shudnt be happening. To you,or me. Im tellin this not only for you outhere,but as a reminder for myself.
We shud be proud of what we have. What we own. Why? Because, we dont even know theres someone outhere want so bad to be you my dear. So stop now. Stop comparing.
Lets gives us,our body some of compliments. All the egdes the curves even the scars and all the inperfection were perfect and there must be a good reason for it.
Sampai bila nak meratapi nasib diri. Yes,people will never stop talkin. They do talks abt it again n again,days by days. But,why worried? Youve nothing to lose thou.
As long as you happy. The type of people in the circle that u kept is the most important. Go out and have fun.
Different people wud have diff tastes. Kalau semua pun suka benda yang sama,wheres the fun sides? Betul tak. These differences coloured our world. All those cultures. Thats it. Kalau tak all cuisine will taste alike. So tak heran lah kalau u p dine in kat london or paris or indon. Sebb all the gourmets will taste just the same. See? Do u get my point?
Disebabkan kelainan tuh, we been traveled so many countries sebab nk rasa dia puya cuisines. Lain negara,lain citarasa. Kan?
Forget all the branded tag,just a piece of paper bytheway. Comfortabilty is the most to be count. Apa guna pakai gucci if it make your feets swollen. Apa guna pakai H&M kalau it makes you sweats like hell. Hiu hiuu.
Sudahlah comparing. U have no ideas what they have to deal with evriday. They may looks happy on paper(mags)and pictures. But deep inside?
Clear now? Ok,lets sleep.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Muahaha.. Nak ketawa boleh? Silakannnn 😒😒😒
So, im now ready to take a challenge of losing some weights.
The keys to succesfull is:
More water. Keep hydrated
No caffein 😭😭😭
Lesser ice. Chill water takpe.
Eat clean. 😭😭😭
Detox green tea kene amalkannnn.
So. Lets see how the progress. Wuhuu.. Pahni cek den berat cek utk buat perbandingan. Ehemm ehemm. 😜😝😙
Friday, June 13, 2014
Scrolling one of the my friend's ig. She changed. Changed in a better way. Thru her,i start to compare myself again. We used to be naughty girl before. Having funs together and so on. But now, she is alhamdullilah a way better than me. I can see that. Look at how she dressed now. A lot lot better than me. I feel ashamed of myself. In silence, she had become my one of my inspired person to change better. Azureen. You taught me alot babe. Even we're not that closed,rarely met. And be friend because my friend is your friend so we become friend too,but somehow the connection is still there. You must be a strong lady,i can guarantee that. The chats between one of your bestie make me thinking. ' Allah panjangkan usia someone itu kerna dia mahukan insan itu bertaubat' dan mereka yg bertakwa itu dipendekkan usianya kerna tidak mahu mereka ini terjebak dalam hal hal lagha'
Masha'allah. At that moment,i was stunned. Had a deep thinking,calculating how many sins did i make. It must be zillions. How im a sinner.
How i scared about death. My iman still unstable. I still cant managed my nafs.. Failed sometimes. Would i be one of the penghuni syurga? Would i be accepted as one the umat islam yang soleh dan solehah?
Taubat. Taubat itu tidaklah semudah yang di sangaka. Apa guna bertaubat jika acapkali melakukan dosa yang sama.
Tapi,usah kau lengahkan masa untuk bertaubat. Jika masih terdetik di hati mu untuk bertaubat,itu tandanya hatimu masih hidup. Cuma ia sakit.. Perlukan vitamins rohani untuk kembali pulih kembali ujud fitrahnya. Getaran yang kau rasa didada tatkala hati terpanggil untuk bertaubat,mengenang tiap satu dosa dosa yang kau lakukan itu adalah tanda dia masih sayang akan dirimu,dia cuba untuk memanggilmu kembali..mencintai dia,merindui dia. Membasahi tiap butir kata dengan nama nama indah dia.
Ya Allah,jangan kau ambil nyawaku dalam aku masih bergelumang dengan dosa. Jangab kau pesongkan hati ini. Janganlah kau sekali mu membiarkan jasad ini berpijak di atas muka bumimu tanpa bimbingan darimu.
Monday, June 9, 2014
despite all of the meroyan-ness. I'm now eating nasi lemak TF PADU with mcd mcnugget 9 pcs and MCFLURRY OREO babeh! so, salah sapa kalau berat badan naik bagai dipam pam? you tell me lah kan.. (salah sendiri )
awful in jeans. lengan besar.. peha super besar with big fluffy belly. oh gosh. im turning into fiona( isteri shrek ).. nasib tak tukar kaler hijau. kalau tidak.. isk isk isk.. memang sejibik sebijon dah hah..
malas sungguh rasa nak hit the gym tuh hah.. macam di gari gari kaki dan seluruh tubuh utk ke sana (walhal nafsu malas je tuh ) layan sangat rasa malas.
3 dyas.. 3 papers.. DIRECT. apedehal ?
haha.. de-stress moments la nih kan.. blogging kejap jerrr.. dengan limpahan makanan lazat. pasni mau pulun subjek core kot.. yang bikin tercabut urat kentut.. mesti mau isi perut lelazat. baru padu nak pulun (alasan!)
at the end, why so kalut? it's just a paper.
papers with words. words that arah arah you buat memacam.
we're all paper slaves bila mai final exam week. tak boleh blah langsung.
poyo nak kurus slim melim bagai exercise malas. mimpilah ayuni.. then sedih tengok badan tak fit mcm dulu. adoiii.. why lah keeping fit is hard?
tak boleh ke makan n makan but still kurus. if only....