those eyes of yours.. the smile.. please be mine.
i realised how fast time flies. the fact that you're gonna leave scared me. is this for real?
it's been ages i did not blog. a bit blown-away with real life. real dramas. throwing myself out there,enjoyed every sec i have "together" with you. trying to make every single of it memorable.
lately.. or maybe due to my pms syndrome (women monthly disorder) i kept thinking "what if, you're leaving forever? forget about me..forget all of this. leave me here,alone.
i been so comfortable having you always beside me. be there when i need you the most. told you every single details what i did for that day. looking thru those beautiful eyes of yours. when you smiled back at me.
am i afraid? yes. i'm afraid of losing. losing you. we can always plan, but we have no ideas what is actually await for us next. i do put your name in my doa,always.(as you told me to do)
midnight,automatically scrolling my album,looking at the pictures of us, you if i can't go to sleep. and that feeling.. the feeling of "ditinggalkan soon" never fails to make me wanna cry.
can i hug you? whenever i say that i wanna hug you... i meant it.
you're still here but i already miss you hard big man. all about you.
i know i always give you troubles. making you have a headache but believe me. i never want to!
i love to see you happy. i'm trying my best to well-behave. thru the attires, the intonation that i used,the language that sometimes could be quite harsh. kick-off the "berkira" attitudes when i do somethings. trying not to be soo neat cleanlines freak since i seriously cant handle massive hairfalls and dusts!
just.. dont leave me without something yang pasti. words can be manipulated. yes now,today. you heart me, but who knows if you dont for the next day?
if that happened,you can always proceed your happy life there since we're not legally attached. and i will always be an outsider.
because what i and you have is a promise,by words. fragile enough.